Hubby and Wifey's Blog

Half Crazy... Why do I say that I'm half crazy? It's because I suffered a lot of pain right now. I don't really know why it's happening to me. I give all, I love all, all of my all I already given to it. It's so hard to think why and how could I change myself. Yes I know I'm happy right now but there's something missing on it. I don't know how or when I will be recovered my self. Sometimes I told myself I'm ok now but deep inside I'm not. I know that I'm the only one who will help myself. I know the cure but I don't want to take it. I want to be like this but till when?
I wish this to end but I think it will not. I already have my phobia. Sometimes I fall but after a day my feeling will be gone because of phobia. I'm just a fragile glass on the table. Just one mistake and I'll be shatter into pieces. I know not all are alike but what if i try again but in the long run it will be the same hurt once again, same as what happening to me, I will hurt my heart again. I want to love but love doesn’t want me. I exert effort to have my love of a life time but in all of my hard work and patience it will be love.................loveless.
I want to get out of this; I want to be happy as other people who live in this heavenly called earth. How, what, when, and why. That's what I think of, when I woke up in the morning till I go to my bed. I just make my self busy everyday. I know that this is a lesson for me, first and last lesson in my life. I don't want to be like this but I want to be like this. I don't know how or what to decide. My heart is purely beaten and killed. I'm just a half crazy man on this earth believing that i will be cured or healed someday. This is my half crazy life...